iSTiFF’s.Column

“I am stronger than depression, braver than loneliness.” - Now isn’t that THE best line you’ve ever heard?? oh yes it is. I’ve got that one from the author of “Eat, Pray, Love”. (I forgot her name so… yeah… keke). She was a guest at the Oprah Show a few weeks ago, and boy… and have I learnt a lot from her! I tried a few of her tips and I’ve changed a bit (slowly..) so it really worked!!

Lesson #1: EAT - for pleasure. Don’t just do eat because you have to. Don’t just not eat because you don’t want to or because you’re on a diet. Don’t just eat when you’re hungry or when you feel like it. DON’T. Just eat for PLEASURE. Savour the taste of each scoop. Live for the moment. You’ll never know if you’ll die tomorrow.

I am skinny. Horribly skinny. And I can never get fat even if I tried eating 10 meals a day. Seriously. But you know, I’m gonna try this out - again. But this time, I shall enjoy the sweet, sour, tender, cold, warm, chewy, crispy, soft, nutty, hot, spicy (….strike ‘hot’ and ’spicy’. i HATE hot and spicy.) gourmet on my tongue. And to add to my enthusiasm, I shall do “mmm” ’s and “yumm”’s everytime I plunge the spoonful of chicken or whatever into my mouth! =D (..maybe not everytime.. now and then.. every 5 scoops.. or every 3.. hopefully I’ll remember to do this..)

Lesson #2: PRAY - everyday. Prayers (no matter what religion you are) are like.. meditation. An escape from this hectic world. A getaway to the “other part of town” that is peaceful and able to make us feel so… so relaxed. Plus, you get to ask for a little bit of something, learn to be patient, slow down, think back what you did, be grateful, repent, and when you’re done, you’d feel like you’re borned again - a refreshing, brand new you! You don’t have to go for a massage or a spa to ease the tension and the uh.. stress.. (oooh.. massage..tempting..). You’ll save money and travelling time. Just keep still, take a deep breath and pray.

Meditation and yoga. They always come together, no? I’m not that keen on yoga but meditation’s okay to me. Another kind of meditating is “Sit and Smile”. That’s it. That’s what the author said when she visited Bali and found this ‘guru’ that taught her this ‘new’ way of meditating. I thought that was stupid but when I gave it a shot, wow… I did NOT expect this to happen.

Right… While I was sitting cross-legged on my bedroom floor, smiling from ear to ear with my eyes closed, I feel very very conscious about my surroundings. The first thing that came into my mind was:

” Man, I feel like an idiot.”

And this thought made me smile even more.

And then.. this smile became like a.. some sort of catalyst which activates some sort of happy thought in my mind. I found myself thinking of the wonderful times I had in my life and such. Flashbacks, embarassing moments. Like.. Like reminiscing! (I may be nostalgic and pathetic but… I am happy and proud =) ) After what seemed like a long time (but it wasn’t!!), I realise that I was not smiling anymore. I was GRINNING. My body was slightly leaned back as my hands pressed onto the ground to support my weight. My legs were still cross-legged. My head was tilted on one side… and I was…. well….I was relaxed!

…and HAPPY!! And the funny thing is.. well.. I wasn’t focusing so hard, to tell you the truth. I was TRYING to. And look where it landed me! =) There must be a lesson here somewhere.. haha!

Lesson #3: LOVE - will come to you. My opinion/view: Don’t chase love. Let them come to you. If you chase love, you won’t be getting what you wanted. You see.. We expect a lot from love. And if we chase love, we want love to love us. We have that urge to attract love to us and this is a strenuos task which requires a lot of time, effort and of course, PATIENCE! So what happens next is.. Love doesn’t seem to respond (or doesn’t WANT to respond) so youll feel neglected, ignored and hurt. You eventually get the message that love doesn’t love you as much as you do and then things began to crumble and eventually fall apart.

When love comes after you instead of the other way round, trust me, you’ll be the happiest person alive. Why? Because love DOES love you. (why the hell did love chase you in the first place??? =D ). No need of drama and uhh.. fortune teller or the love astrology to aid you because you know that you are loved… You know you are. =)

Never in my entire life have I taken these 3 things seriously. I have been cramming myself with :

” i HAVE to eat because i HAVE TO.”

” i HAVE to pray because i HAVE TO.”

” i HAVE to love because i HAVE TO.”

I didn’t think twice about the uhm… “HAVE TO because i HAVE TO”’s .. If I have to “HAVE TO” everyday, man..I would break the rules!! (Im a bit of a goody-two-shoes and an A grade worry-er.. so breaking the rules is kinda ‘heavy’ for me). But now, I realise that I CAN change the way things are… from “HAVE TO” to “FOR FUN”! or for “PLEASURE!” If a dude asks me to sweep cow dung off of his doorstep because I have to, I’d slap him on his face but if it’s for fun and I’m offered a prize or cash then I’d do it happily without a doubt! I’d even take off my gloves and use my bare hands! I’d carry em by the fistful and toss them in a black plastic bag, smiling! Or even better, I’d put those dung in his garden as fertilisers - carefully in each flower pot while whistling “Heigh-Ho, Heigh Ho.. It’s off to work we go..” merrily!! =DDD

okay… i exaggerated…

In short: if you don’t feel like doing something, trick yourself.

HAHAHA!!!

Mmm.. not exactly.. but…well…

oh im sure you get the idea….. =)

3rd day of flu. How do I feel? Mmm.. Still queasy. Not as much as before but I am getting better. =) I ate apples. Lots of em. "An apple a day keeps the doctor away." (Unless the doctor is very good looking like Dr.Redgmen then that’s a different story… nehehehehe…. ). Speaking of which, do you know that bananas work way better better than apples? Dad’s got this email about bananas VS apples, and guess what? Bananas beat apples; nutrition-wise. Well that’s a little fun fact from me - for now.

This morning, I listened to music full blast with my headphones! (Not normal for a sick person eh?) There’s nothing much to do when your entire body’s aching and you’re forced to stay in bed, am I right or am I RIGHT??? Mmm… Right now, I’m listening to Westlife’s I HAVE A DREAM. (Oooooooh… Husna’s listening to corny songsssssss… ). Heh. Westlife’s not that bad, you know. Just because they look gay (ok.. two of their members ARE GAY) doesn’t mean that anyone should hate them. They make good music. And you gotta admit, (though I know how much you hate it now) YOU USED TO BE THEIR BIGGEST FAN!! HAHAHAHA!!! Uh-huh, take a look at your old CD collectioins, people! hahaha… Yea.. I know they’re not "in" anymore. But if you give them a chance, listen to their songs for a while.. They are not that bad. Yes?

And for your info, my Windows Media Player is on "shuffle" mode. I didn’t intend to play Westlife’s song… Honestly. eeeeehehehe…

Violin general ensemble - i was a bit giddy. SWEATED! mannnn.. didnt see that one coming… Laughed a lot.. ok.. Laughed too much!! I missed a few parts, hit bits of wrong notes.. My God… I couldn’t focus xD That was the funniest group playing - for now..

I can’t breathe thru my nose now… Im out… UGH

Wow. I need to update. Right. There’s one thing you should know about me. (note the"SHOULD"; i.e. MUST. This is not an option or a suggestion. It is an order. MANDATORY. COMPULSORY. Hehehe… ) I hate weekends. Yes. I hate weekends. I don’t know why but… I HATE WEEKENDS!

Oh wait… I think I DO know why.. There ain’t nothing to do at home. Go out? And then what? Waste fuel, I tell you. And money. Window shopping = dangerous. You’ll end up buying things.. And when you get home, you regret it ’cause you need the money for something more important like [state your basic need(s) here].

Yes…. Today is Sunday… Everybody gets up at 7am… (nuts)… Except for the little ones. They woke at 6.30am and cycled around the house just for the joy of it. (NUTS…). Hmm.. I used to that when I was 10. Ahhh…. good old days.. (ok. I’ll take back the "NUTS").I remember myself waking up at 5am and bounced on my parents’ bed just so they could give me the store room key where all our bicycles were kept. They tossed me the keys and went back to bed while my sister and I raced to the store room, got our bicycles out and cycled around the neighbourhood while the maid kept an eye on us. Oh yeahhhh… Beautiful dawn.. We used to watch the sun rise…. beautiful…..

9 years later, at 5am, I lay in bed - dreaming. =)

What a bliss!

It didn’t last long tho. I forced myself to sleep but failed to, what with the kids’ screaming and yelling and laughing and ARGH! (NUTSSS!).

So here I am, typing this up so I could let my thoughts out silently instead of complaining to anyone I see on my way to the living room about how unfair life is when I already know that life IS supposed to be unfair since everyone and everything ain’t perfect, so why bother bringing this topic up considering that I knew it all along but I just can’t help myself, I had to yap yap yap or it’s primal scream therapy for me… - SO THERE!

ANYWAY… This morning, I had no mood for breakfast ’cause I caught flu - again. (Tis the flu season, if you must know.) (sniff). I ate my breakfast at nearly 11am which was baaaaad…. Food got really cold and soggy. (eugh). Aaaaaand.. Despite my brain getting numb, running nose, the coughing and festering sores (go on, pity me…), I picked myself up and followed my family to Soon Lee. At least I get to push the cart with my dad or brother on it. I kinda enjoy it ’cause I would have to push the cart REALLY hard and let go of it and made them bang to someone or something.. Okay okay.. NEARLY bang onto someone/something… That sounded a bit mean but that’s all fun and games if you see us doing it. Shopping with the whole family is the best get-together if you ask me. =) Our cart was FULL. I mean really FULL! The eggs’ got no space in the cart, it kept slipping off at the edge of the cart! This time, my lil brother and I pushed the cart together to the parking lot while dad made fun of us. (we’re both skinny, plus he’s only 9 years old). Overall, our trip to the supermarket made me smile.

I like weekends.. Yep, I love it. I LOVE IT!! I’m contradicting myself. So what? (grins). love love love love love~~~ =)

I am a question to the world, not an answer to be heard or a moment that’s held in your arms.

And what do you think you’d ever say? I won’t listen anyway. You don’t know me, and i’ll never be what you want me to be.

And what do you think you’d understand? You can’t take me and throw me away.

And how can you learn what’s never shown? Yeah, i stand here on my own. They don’t know me ’cause i’m still here.

And i want a moment to be real.
I want to touch things I don’t feel.
I want to hold on and feel I belong.

And how can the world want me to change?
They’re the ones that stay the same!
They don’t know me ’cause im still here.

And i see the things they never see. All you wanted, i cant be. They can’t tell me who to be ’cause im not what they see.

The world is still sleeping while i keep on dreaming for me.

And their words are just whispers and lies that i’ll never believe!

There has been so many chances for me to prove and show you that im capable of doing the things that you think that i cant handle.. But you couldn’t accept it..

You choose not to accept it.. You refuse to.

Im still here.. In your eyes, as a child.. A helpless, dependent little girl.. =’)

Not every tree can stand thirst…
BUT CACTUS DID IT!

Not every animal can stand represent our nation…
BUT LION DID IT!

Not every flower can represent love..
BUT ROSES DID IT!

Not every orang-utans can read blogs..
BUT YOU DID IT!

=p hehehe..

LOOK! Ive created my own group! YAY! I think it’s cool that we all get to express ourselves here. Really, i couldn’t say what i wanted to say UNLESS i jot it down so i could tell ppl what’s going on in my mind.

You know how i stutter… A LOT!!! I even screwed up during debates cz i was sooo emotional. Damn.. And you know how it feels like to have a quick flashback of yourself; how u failed to answer a question, or give your opinions but somehow u didn’t manage to focus on the words you’re trying to speak out but instead you slurred and mumbled… GAHH! And THEN you say : " WHY DIDN’T I SAY THAT????" or "IS IT THAT HARD TO SAY IT???"

How I managed to qualify for public speaking - i don’t know. I believe that it’s my style and emotion (my ‘e-Xpression".. hehe) that triggers the audience’s reaction. It’s just my expression.. yeah.. I only have the gift to EXPRESS something.. gestures… blaa.. but no, i can’t speak well.. sigh.. i guess… gee.. now I’M confused..

It’s funny how, when i get on stage, i spoke fluently. But when i talk to ppl around me, it’s like:

STEP 1: to think what to say
STEP 2: save the words in mind
STEP 3: wait for my cue
STEP 4: SPEAK!

and then..

ERROR: stuttered..

FEEDBACK 1: "haa?"
FEEDBACK 2: "i don’t understand what you’re saying, Husna"
FEEDBACK 3: "ohh.. i thought you said —-. Say clearly ma.."

oh crap

sigh.. maybe next time i’ll walk around with a DUMMY’s GUIDE TO SPEAK.. nyeh

We are in the year 2070. I just turned 50yrs old, but I look 85. I experience major kidney problems, because i drink very little water. I think that I don’t have much more time to live. Today, I am the oldest person living in this society.

I remember, when i was 5yrs old. Everything was very different: There were lots of trees in the parks, houses had beautiful gardens, and i could enjoy long baths and stay in the shower or one whole hour. Now, we have to clean ourselves by using disposable towelettes moisturised with mineral oil.

Before, women were proud of their beautiful hair. Now, we have to shave our head to keep it clean without using water. Before, my father used to wash his car with water that came out of a hose. Today children find it hard to believe that one ever could use water to perform such a task.

I remember the many warnings: "DON’T WASTE WATER". But nobody paid attention. Ppl assumed that water was unlimited. Today, rivers, dams, lagoons and underground water are all either irremediably polluted or completely dried up.

The landscape that surrounds us has turned into nothing more than an immense desert. Gastro-intestinal infections, and skin & urinary tract
diseases have now become the main causes of death.

Industry is paralysed; and the jobless rate reached a dramatic level.
Desalination plants are the main employers. They give one drinking water instead of a salary.

Ppl are constantly being mugged for water on the deserted streets.

80% of the food is synthetic.

Before, it was recommended that an adult drink 8 glasses of water a day. Today, i am allowed only HALF A GLASS.

Since we cannot wash our clothes, we throw them, which increases the amount of trash. We had to go back to using septic tanks, just like in the past. century because the sewage system
stopped working due to the lack of water.

People look scary: their bodies were weak; parched with extreme dehydration, covered by sores cause by UV rays that atmosphere can no longer filter since the ozone layer is depleted.

Due to the dryness of her skin, a young 20yr old woman looks more like 40. Scientists perform all types of research and investigations, but there is no solution in sight. We cannot produce water. The lack of trees reduces the amount of oxygen available which in turn lowers the intellectual quotient of upcoming generations.

The morphology of many individuals spermatozoa was altered which results in children being borned with all sorts of deficiencies,  mutations and malformations.

The govt even makes us pay a tax for the air we breathe! 137m3 per adult per day (31,102 gallons). Those who can’t pay the tax are expulsed from the ventilated areas that are equipped with gigantic mechanical lungs powered by solar energy. The air supplied in the ventilated areas is not of very good quality but at least one can breathe there. The average age is 35.

Some countries succeeded in preserving a few islands of vegetation with their own streams. These areas are closely monitored by the army. Water has become a rare commodity, a highly sought after treasure; infinitely more valuable than gold or diamonds.

Here, though, there are no more trees because it hardly ever rains. And whenever it does rains, it is acid rain that comes down. There are no more seasons, climatic changes such as the greenhouse effect and the polluting activities we indulge in during the 20
the century took care of that. We were warned about the need to take care of our environment. But nobody bothered.

When my daughter asks me to tell her how it was when i was young. I describe the beauty of the forests. I tell her about the rain, about the flowers, about how pleasurable it was to bathe, to go fish in the rivers and the lakes, and being able to drink as much water
as one desired. I tell her abt how healthy ppl used to be.

She asks me:

"DADDY, WHY IS THERE NO WATER ANYMORE?"

I feel a lump in my throat…

I can’t help feeling guilty, because I belong to the generation that completed the destruction of our environment by simply not taking seriously any of the warnings… and there were so many of
them!

I belong to the last generation who could have made a difference, but who CHOSE NOT TO ACT!

Today, our children pay the hefty price…

Quite frankly, I think that, within short, life on this Earth will no longer be possible, because the destruction of our environment reached its point of no return.

How I wish i could go back in time and get the Human race to understand this…

_

_

…at a time when it was still possible for us to do something to save our planet Earth!!

-

-

Send this letter to all your contacts
and contribute, even if it is only by a
fraction, to the necessary global
awareness on the water issue.
-

-
This is no game, it is already a
REALITY. Do it for your children; if you
don’t have any yet, maybe you WILL some
day.
-

-
Don’t leave them hell as a legacy…

-

leave. them. LIFE!!

Ahh… back to school.. God, this sux…

More hand-outs, lectures, homework, and MORE HAND-OUTS!!!

*groan*

yeah, so.. i was cleaning up my bookshelf when i found this little article that i took from Singapore… Funny why i hadn’t read it the moment i got it in my hands last December.. heh… So anyway.. it was actually interesting.. (no doubt).. Abandoning my books and papersssssss on my bedroom floor, i started reading…

_____________________________________________________________

_____________________________________________________________

DO YOU KNOW???

"Researchers believe that many types of conventional bras cause lymphatic vessels blockage leading to fluid build-up and tissue congestion, a condition called EDEMA. This causes pains, tenderness, lumps and fluid-filled cysts.

__________________________________________

__________________________________________

This could lead to CANCER, as toxins become trapped, unable to be flulshed out through the lymphatic system due to the constriction of conventional bra.

___________________________________________________

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Research has also shown that hte less time your breasts spent constricted by bra, the healthier they are likely to be "

________________________________________________________

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There you go.. A few tips for the GIRLS who are reading this (and for the guys out there who are willing to spread the word to their gals/mom/aunty/blaaa…):

1. NEVER wear conventional bras (what’s conventional? i dont know either… am checking on it at this very moment.. hee
2. NEVER wear a bra to sleep (to avoid constriction.. yea, u gotta get used to it.. tsk tsk)
3. log on to http://www.midori.com.sg/ to check out further infos on BUST FREE strapless, constriction-less, hook-less, seamless (bla bla less) bras.. VERY HELPFUL I’M TELLING YOU!
4. Buy the book : Dressed To Kill - the link between Breast Cancer and Bras  by Sydney Ross Singer and Soma Girlsmaijer for reference

ayt.. ima go shower now..

Last day of AS tomorrow.. yea yea i know.. i screwed up on both chem and bio, so WHAT??

Everything’s gonna be alright… right?

I mean, there’s always A Level this October.. No need to panic… right?

And uh.. it’s the NOT the end of the world la…. yes?

NO

I

AM

NOT

CONVINCED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

T_T

I CAN READ IT! CAN YOU ?

fi yuo cna raed tihs, yuo hvae a sgtrane mnid too. Cna yuo raed tihs? Olny 55 plepoe can. i cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno’t mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn  mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! if you can raed tihs forwrad it.

ONLY FORWARD IF YOU CAN READ THIS